Slow Sailing

Still no news. NO NEWS, I tell you. I *thought* I had news. I *believed* I had news. But turns out, not so much news. So we're still stuck. With no news.

Last week I got really excited about the possibility of news. I started planning. I bought legos and matchbox cars. I prayed and fasted. (And yes, once again, I broke out in hives. Apparently there is something seriously wrong with my practice of the spiritual discipline of fasting.) I told God exactly how it could all work out. The dates lined up perfectly with others who were traveling and with family leave from work and etcetera. It was going to be awesome and wondeful and I was so excited.

Pop. That's the sound of my bubble bursting as days and then a week went by with - you guessed it - no news.

Wait - news flash - I took too long to post and, guess what! I got an email! From the agency! Stating that - oh, bummer - there is no news. Our adoption file is still somewhere in the depths of the Ministry of Social Welfare waiting on various and assorted signatures. Sigh. But now I know where we stand. At least this tiny bit of news of no news takes away the nagging fear that our file had been lost or destroyed or (insert horrific yet imaginative scenario).

Still, despite the hives and despite my heartbreaking longing to love on this little boy, I have a sense of peace. I have expended every shred of action that I can muster. I've prayed and I've sent emails to my agency and I've conscripted every person I know into praying and I've vented and I've scoured the internet for scraps of information and I've called my agency and, as noted above, I've fasted. I've done all that God has given me to do.

So now I wait. This journey is by God's design, and I'm trusting him to steer the ship. We may be on a sailboat (with no wind) rather than a speedboat, but I'm going to be OK with that. I'm going to try to enjoy the journey. I'm going to trust Him and let Him work it all out. His ways are better than my ways, and I'm anticipating something truly amazing!

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31