Until We Know

When I was a young, newly married counselor (sans children) I gave a workshop on parenting. My information was solid, well-researched, scientifically and Biblically integrated. Good stuff, right? Except I had NO IDEA what I was talking about. None. I knew, but I didn't KNOW. I didn't understand. We don't know what we don't know until we know. And now I know. Yeesh.

Sorry, workshop participants. Hope that parenting thing worked out for you. Bless my heart.

When my daughter was born, her pediatrician came to the hospital (on a Saturday), examined her, then chatted with us for nearly an hour. He was informed, educational and calming. At one point he asked about our decision to breastfeed, and I admitted to having some difficulty. He listened, nodded, and said, "I've read the research, my wife nursed our two, and I could tell you exactly what the La Leche League guidelines say to do. But practically speaking I have no idea. I'll call in the lactation consultant. She's read the research, attended the workshops AND nursed six of her own."

He knew what he didn't know. So he called someone who knew.

I've been pulled over by the police exactly four times in my life, all for actually breaking the law (three times for speeding, once for driving without lights - long story.) Each time it was nervous-making. Each time I struggled to remember what I was supposed to do. Each time I was allowed to stay in my car while the officer asked me a couple of questions and then sent me on my way with a gentle warning to slow down/turn on the lights, sweetheart.

I know what it's like to be a white female, pulled over by the cops in a relatively affluent part of town, entirely deserving of a ticket, but grateful to get off scot-free.

I have NO IDEA what it's like to be pulled over for driving while black. None. I have no idea what it's like to integrate 200 plus years of slavery then 100 plus years of brutally enforced segregation and oppression into a relationship with the current fractured justice system. So I have no idea what I would do, nor what people of color should or should not do. I'm reading and listening, trying to learn, trying to empathize. But I just don't know.

So when I hear or read white people proclaim about what people of color should or should not have done when confronted by police, or how they should or should not protest injustice in communities of color, my head starts to twitch. Because while their advice may be true, they just do not know. Bless our hearts, we don't know. Let the leaders of color speak to what people of color should do. Because THEY KNOW. And let us who are white listen and learn, seek justice and love mercy.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him - James 1:5