Paul really wanted a "fish of his very own". And he has been going through HARD THINGS the last couple of weeks. Which means he's more easily stressed, frustrated and flat-out mad than is bearable. He tends to take out his stress, frustration and mad on Sam. She's his safest person, apparently. Which she could view in a positive light, right? She doesn't.
So this fish is sort of a connector. Paul loves his fish. And happy feelings about fish bleed into happy feelings about Sam. At least, that's the theory.
Except the stupid fish keeps dying! "Sleeping" may be the word I used when Paul saw him motionless at the bottom of the filter. Just taking a little fishy nap.
You may be reading this as someone whose children I have counseled. In which case we may have discussed the idea of being honest with your children, supporting them with your presence and love while allowing them to face the grief and stress of life. This is important.
Except not this fish. Not right now. Hypocritical perhaps, but I am not adding a dead fish to the traumatic memories we're working through. Everything else may be out of whack, but THE FISH IS JUST SLEEPING!
So we discovered the sleeping fish Friday evening. On Saturday Trent and Paul went to the YMCA while I scurried back to Feeder Supply. Later Saturday afternoon, "Mom! Look! Captain is awake. And his tail is bigger! He grew!"
See, Son. What am I always telling you about the importance of sleep? Sleep and grow.
Sunday evening the fish took another nap. Seriously. I am the killer of fish. So Monday morning I will take the kids to school, finish editing two manuscripts, get ready for my school job, zoom to Feeder Supply for a quick course on HOW TO KEEP A FISH ALIVE THROUGH WINTER, replace Captain II with yet another lookalike, then head to school to help other children who don't live in my house walk through the difficulties of life with honesty and courage.
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