"Yes."
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreampt of in your philosophy.
--Hamlet by William Shakespeare.
(The fact that neither of us can find our shoes is irrelevant to this post.)
Trent and Paul may not share DNA, but they are cut from the same cloth personality-wise - both sensing thinkers. Logical, practical, action oriented. Athletic, optimistic and good in a crisis, but not so patient with the world of fairy and fantasy. Whenever it was Trent's turn for storytime with Sam he'd get a paragraph in then exclaim in irritation, "What is this? Are these characters animals? Why are they talking?"
So while I love Santa Claus and revel in the Truth of goodness, magic and love inherent in Santa legends around the world (I believe), we decided not to empathize the jolly elf with Paul. We had enough of a learning curve with other aspects of Christmas - Jesus, family, generosity, gratitude, love. Plus, the idea of a strange man creeping through the chimney and eating cookies kinda freaks out some kids from hard places.
We did attempt the Advent Angel - (like the elf on the shelf in that it requires a bulk of work from Mom); Gabby the Angel travels from person to person doing good (sometimes mischevious) deeds and generally helping the family get ready for Christmas. The first day of Avent Gabby appeared with a plate of banana muffins (Paul's favorite) and a note. As an added touch, one muffin was half-eaten with a few crumbs left on Gabby's mouth. Adorable.
Alrighty then.
We attempted Gabby a few more times - reading a new storybook with favorite stuffed animals, watching a video with the dogs - but Paul was always insistent that it wasn't real and determined to discover the REAL perpetrator of good deeds. I didn't argue - we talked about how we were helping angels by using Gabby to act like angels. He even got in on the action once by helping clean Daddy's room, but I could tell he just wasn't that into it.
And the Elf on the Shelf that was all over facebook? He took a look at a couple of pictures posted by friends. "Dat thing is weird," declared my little pragmatic.
Santa got the same treatment. I'm sure friends at school talked about Santa and well-meaning adults asked him what Santa was going to bring him. He questioned the "realness" of Santa several times, specifically wanting to know if the Santa in the movie Elf was the real Santa "or not?" We read the story of St. Nicholas and how St. Nicholas showed love by giving gifts and how people today "play Santa" whenever they share gifts and love.
He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist... The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see...
--"Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus", New York Sun.
"But de presents in de sock? You give me those? Or Santa? You de real Santa?"
Sometimes adoptive parents get the "what is real" questions, too. "What happened to his real parents?" "Does he have any real brothers or sisters?" "Do you have any real children?" What they mean, of course, is biological. Because adoptive parents and adopted children are very much real - practically real, metaphorically real, real in every sense of the word. One doesn't have to share DNA to be real. One only has to share love.
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real, you don't mind being hurt."
--The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
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