Can a Girl Really Not Have Too Many Shoes?

This post isn't really about adoption. Well, I guess it is, in a way, about adoption finances. Because adoptions cost like a gazillion dollars, and we still have about a quarter of a gazillion to save, so we are ON.A.BUDGET. An every-penny-has-a-name-rank-and-serial-number budget.

So, here's a hypothetical. Imagine my daughter is a dancer. (I SAID it was a hypothetical!) Imagine she dances at a private Christian school. (Sounds like the start of a joke, doesn't it. But I digress.) She's been dancing for a little over a year, and she likes it a lot because her friends dance, too, but it's probably not God's future career for her. She's in the B corps and she's very content with this because the A corps girls are just a bit intimidating.

Last year, when she started dancing (this is just making me laugh. Okay. Sorry. I'm better). When she started dancing she had to buy lots of gear. Well, everybody had to buy lots of gear because the dance teachers wanted everyone in the A corps and the B corps to match. Dance teams do that, you know. So we bought all the gear. Matchy-matchy. Adorable. Now it's her second year, and the A corps teacher wants all the girls in A corps and B corps to buy new shoes. Again. These are practically identical to last year's shoes, mind you, except the new version has a tiny bit more mesh tulle (it is tulle, isn't it?) on the front.

Sam did, in fact, dance at one point in her life. And she was amazing. And oh, so cute. But when she changed the steps to kick ball karate chop, we figured she needed a new discipline.


BTW...those sweet little tap shoes were USED.


Now, practical me thinks, "Why does she need new shoes? Her old shoes still fit. (Praise God her foot growth has slowed dramatically! Which probably means she's nearly done growing, too. Which probably means she won't reach the dance teacher's hoped for height of six feet.) Her old shoes are still in good shape. Her old shoes are almost identical. PLUS, she also has her practice shoes. She doesn't need to buy new shoes. Who needs three pairs of dance shoes?"

The mother-of-a-teenager thinks, "I don't want her to feel left out, however, or to be the ONLY ONE without new dance shoes. Just buy the shoes." (Full disclosure, that was actually father-of-a-teenager's thinking. He's such a good dad!)

So we tell Sam her coach dance teacher wants the team to buy new shoes. She says, "Why? My other shoes are still good. I don't need new shoes. Why can't we put that money toward the adoption?"

HALLELUJAH! That's my girl right there. She said that, she really, really, did! She can shop with the best of them, but she does not WANT new dance shoes!

So I email the dance teacher and ask if Sam can use her shoes from last year. Teacher replies, "Yes she can but she will not be allowed to dress for the A team should she make it."

Now, perhaps this is less complicated than I'm making it. But for some reason I have gone all Sybil on this and my different personalities can't agree on how to respond.

Busy Working Mom Personality: Okay, no new shoes, check. Now, who's doing carpool today?

Dance Mom Personality: A team? Seriously? She has a shot at A team? Is she that  good? She must be that good. Wow. I had no idea. But, when I really think about it, of course she's that good. She is my child. I'd better buy the shoes, just to show that I am behind her 100% and will do whatever it takes and...wow, maybe Juilliard is next. Then the New York Ballet. Then she'll buy me a new house.

Radical Christian Personality: Are you kidding? Say she DOES make the A team (which is unlikely because she'll probably be on a mission trip the day of tryouts), then you're telling me she can't dance if she doesn't have the right kind of shoes? How can anyone call themselves a Christian dance team and place more importance on shoes than they do on orphans? (Insert self-righteous head bob.)

Avoid Confrontation Personality: Just shut up and buy the shoes. There are worse things.

I know I can get all weird about money, an issue I attribute directly to my mom and her apoplectic fit when my brother took her credit card and bought a $150 pair of Jordans (ah, the 80's). And I'm probably thinking too much. But I'm really trying to figure this out. I do think the question stretches past shoes and into materialism, excess and consumerism, which, at least for me, can easily become an idol. Does the dance team REALLY need new gear every year? Does this really impact their success on the dance court floor? Does this impact their witness? (And if so, for good or for ill?) This issue of simplicity versus materialism and where-is-the-balance? is something God is trying to work out in me. But I don't know all the answers. So I'm seeking wise counsel.

What do you think?