I have fallen in love with a name on a document. A scanned, emailed document. A name I'm not entirely sure how to pronounce. This is foolish. I KNOW this is foolish. There are countless obstacles before this name is added to the Thompson name on official adoption papers. Yet I am smitten.
During my days of working for child protection I counseled foster-to-adopt parents to pray for the children in their care, to trust in God's plan for that child, and to love that child. Yet I empathized with their fear that if they loved these children too deeply, their hearts might be broken. Sometimes their hearts were broken, sometimes in ways that didn't make sense. Was God listening? Did He know what He was doing?
I fear for my heart. I desperately want to abandon my fears and trust, wholeheartedly, in God's plan...to know without a doubt that God will do what is best for this child and for our family, whatever that may be. I KNOW that God answers prayers in amazing and miraculous ways. I have seen this firsthand (just four days ago, in fact!) So what's stopping me? I want to love foolishly ... but foolish love is scary! "I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24.
"What if your blessings come through raindrops... What if the trials in this life are your mercies in disguise?" Laura Story - "Blessings"
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