When Wisdom Ends...

The Bible has a lot to say about wisdom. A keyword search for "wisdom" on biblegateway.net listed 219 results. I'm a planner, and also a bit of a perfectionist, so the admonition in Luke 14:28 - 30 about estimating the cost BEFORE building has always struck a warning chord in me.

But as Trent and I delve deeper into this adoption journey, I'm also confronted with the question: Where does wisdom end and faith versus fear begin? Because from a pragmatic viewpoint, international adoption doesn't seem especially wise. Sam is 13, a great kid, and, to be honest, parenting an only child has a lot of perks. Adding another child through international adoption will create some stress: 1) financially (adoption fees plus the cost of raising and schooling another child); 2) emotionally (attachment issues and parenting in general can wreak havok in families); and, 3) physically (twenty plus hours of travel time just to GET to Lesotho, plus the threat of illness and injury along the way). It's no wonder well-meaning friends have asked, "Um, are you sure?"

So where's the line between wisdom and faith versus fear? We confront this same question about our mission trip to Tijuana. This year we promoted the mission trip to the Christian school where I work. Not a lot of takers, to be honest. What I got instead where a lot of rebukes. "Haven't you heard that Mexico is NOT SAFE?" "It is irresponsible of you to promote a service trip to MEXICO! Are you foolish?" No matter that we've been to Tijuana five years running, are in regular contact with those who live every day in Tijuana, and our critics' only knowledge of Mexico is what they've heard on the news (for those of you not familiar with Mexico and who also watch the news, Tijuana (Baja county) and Chihuahua county (where the news reports are centered) are in different parts of the country).

Sometimes we must step forward with action that seems to defy wisdom. Adoption. Mission trips. Service. Charitable giving. Heck, even venturing out in a thunderstorm to go to church. When wisdom ends, our only decision is whether we will venture forth in faith...or stay home in fear.

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. 1 Cor. 1:25.

There's a Click!

So I decided I wanted to learn the Sotho language. I'm not sure why I thought this would be successful considering I still struggle to carry on an intelligible conversation in Spanish, but nevertheless I bought the (only) Sotho language CD. Thus far I've learned biri (beer), kofi (coffee) and leqele (left). The ease in memorizing the first two is self-explanatory. The last word is implanted in my brain not because I'm directionally challenged (I am), but because in Sotho, Q is a CLICK!

This is so cool. Left is pronounced le-click-ele. How fun is that! My ADD took over and I googled languages with clicks. (Quite a few, especially in southern Africa.) Apparently I'm not the only one who finds clicks fascinating. Russell Peters has a YouTube video about it...

The LORD said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.  Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.” Genesis 11:6-7

Rumors and Rumors of Rumors on Easter

Adoptive parents are a nervous bunch (and here I'm speaking for myself). A to-be parent plus complex and seemingly irrational international bureaucracies plus long stretches of silence plus media reports of everything-that-can-go-wrong plus the internet equals a rumor mill potent enough to keep any birther conspiracist busy.

The internet has been a wonderful tool on this adoption journey, allowing us to research and to connect with others, but it also has its dangers. Just this Thursday (Gethsemane Thursday) a passing comment on a blog in combination with an email sent my heart racing about the status of adoption in Lesotho.

My inherent cynicism plus my brief stint in journalism school served me well (back in the day journalists were taught they must have two credible and verifiable sources before reporting a story). A quick response from Cheryl (recently returned from Lesotho) and an email from a missionary in an orphanage in Lesotho proved the rumor to be nothing more than a rumor and gave my husband yet another opportunity to tell me to chill out.

I admit I admire Thomas, the doubting disciple. When everyone was rushing in with their rumors of empty tombs and chance meetings on the road, Thomas wanted the verifiable source - "First I gotta see the nail marks." He didn't get worked up or freaked out about the rumors, but when presented with the facts he believed.

The Easter story demands faith, but, as shown by writers such as McDowell (More Than a Carpenter) and Strobel (The Case for Christ) it also stands up under credible and verifiable research. Rumors may fly, but Truth is Risen!

Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:29

No Guarantees

Americans like guarantees. I like guarantees. If Trent fails to respond quickly and correctly to the question, "Does this new dress make my butt look fat?" I like knowing I can take said dress back to the store for a full refund.

With international adoption, there are no guarantees. I've known this, on a vague theoretical level, all along, but it really hit home when I wrote our first $6,000 non-refundable check to the adoption agency. Six thousand dollars. Non-refundable. No guarantees.

Two incongruent beliefs have taken up residency in my head: 1) My son is in Africa and I must do everything I can to bring him home; 2) My son is not my son and I have no legal or emotional right to him until after the adoption is finalized...irrespective of how many checks we write. In psychological circles harboring incongruent beliefs is called cognitive dissonance and creates emotional tension. Welcome to my world.

Our church preached on ownership several months back with the premise that everything belongs to God and we are merely caretakers. So in reality it's God's six thousand dollars. Trent and I just have to figure out how to invest it. Stock market? Adopt an orphan? Bathroom renovation? I think I know the answer. Caveat emptor.

"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you." John 14:18.

Children of God by Third Day

Spam I Am

It's tough to find spiritual significance in spam. (Not the canned meat product popular in Hawaii - I've never considered the spirituality of that particular food substance - but rather the junk email variety.)

I should back up. On March 4th I emailed our homestudy draft to AFAA, our agency, after calling and learning that Cheryl was in Africa. Cheryl must check and approve the homestudy for wording issues relevant to African adoptions before the homestudy can be finalized. Our homestudy agency also emailed her a copy so she could approve it while overseas.

Days passed. Weeks. I emailed again. Still nothing. Now I'm starting to imagine all sorts of terrible things (a quick google search of international adoption elucidates some of what flashed through my mind). Trent, ever mellow, encouraged calm and patience, "Just wait until Cheryl gets back in the states."

She returned, I called, and after some back-and-forth and checking of email files, I learned...I was spam. Spam I am. My two emails and the email from the homestudy agency had gone directly to AFAA's spam. Long story long, the homestudy was retrieved, checked, approved and finalized - bing, bang, boom.

Any spiritual significance to the month-long delay caused by an overefficient spam filter? I have no idea. Maybe someday there will be a cool story about how this odd delay allowed us to connect with a specific child at a specific time. Chances are I will never know. But I do know that I have been a bit more diligent about checking my own spam files...who knows what might be missed?

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).