Sometimes Magic Happens

Sometimes magic happens. Sometimes there is a conference in Orlando, Florida, with Dr. Karyn Purvis that happens to fall over a four-day school holiday and your husband says, "Sure, you can go. I'll stay home with Paul. And why don't you make a vacation of it while you're down there and take Sam to Universal for her birthday." (OK, that's not exactly how the conversation went, but that's basically the result.) And also sometimes you have Delta credit from the nightmarish plane delay in Johannesburg and then when ordering the tickets Delta screws up but then FIXES IT and so both tickets cost less than $200 TOGETHER. Sometimes that happens.

And sometimes it is gray and misty in Florida (that's not the magic part) and so when you go to Universal on Thursday it is still warmer than back home BUT IT IS NOT CROWDED and you get to spend all day at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter with your fourteen year old magical daughter, visiting with Ollivander the wand maker and buying chocolate frogs at Honeydukes and flying through Hogwarts with good friends Harry, Ron, Hermione and drinking butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks and high-fiving other wizards from Ravenclaw who are now suddenly new best friends. Sometimes magic happens.

And sometimes you take your fourteen year old daughter to the outlet mall even though you hate shopping but because you love her and she finds an adorable swimsuit (without any tears on the part of the mother or the daughter) and it's actually affordable and she's so, so excited that she begs you to go to the pool with her even though it is currently only 45 degrees in Florida. And you talk her into renting a movie, instead. And she agrees. And you get to relax for two hours and watch a movie. Together. Without little boy interruptions. Sometimes bonding happens.

And sometimes you get to sit at the feet of Dr. Purvis for two solid days with other adoptive and foster parents (including one who recently adopted her son from Lesotho) while she explains what trauma and loss does to the developing brain and the resulting behaviors and you think, "Yes, yes, I see that and oh, wow, this is so hard." And then Dr. Purvis says, "Yes, this is so hard and it will cost you everything you are to invest this kind of nurture and structure into your child but look what happens when that nurture and structure makes new connections in their brain" and YOU SEE IT. You look back and remember the rage and the terror and the living in fight, flight, freeze and you can see how those months of 24/7 parenting and carrying and massage and trampoline jumping and punching bag and the play, play, play have made new connections, NEW CONNECTIONS, and your heart sings. Sometimes connections happen.

And sometimes seeing this magic that happens in the hearts and minds of these kiddos that have experienced so much hurt makes you think, we could do this again, we could parent another older child with a difficult past and help him heal. And you go home to hugs and kisses and play, play, play and your heart expands so big that it could heal the whole world. And then later he gets a little sassy so you trot out your oh-so-effective Dr. Purvis language in the exact same Dr. Purvis voice and the entire family bursts into laughter. And you remember Dr. Purvis's encouragement to parent one hard-places kiddo at a time. And you remember that God has given you other callings, too, like counseling students and editing and writing. And you decide you have a lot more learning to do, first. Sometimes sanity happens.