APPROVAL!!!

We got it! After months (and months and MONTHS!) of waiting and hoping and praying that the Lesotho Department of Social Welfare would approve our adoption application for Pacman while harboring deep, dark thoughts that this adoption was NEVER going to happen, we GOT IT! The email from our agency with the paperwork to FINALIZE our adoption of Pacman!

The events of this week leading up to our receipt of this super exciting email have been miraculous and crazy and draining and fun. I can't even go into all the details. Suffice it to say that we were INUNDATED by thoughts and prayers and information about Lesotho and God's care for orphans all day Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday night we learned the meaning of Pacman's name (his birth name, not his made-up online name). It means...the place to ride horses.

Um...hello...we live in Kentucky. Horse riding heaven, right here.

Then on Wednesday, we got the email. God's timing. It's true...He knows the very best WHEN.

So...what's next?

1. Notorize paperwork. Check! Our great friend and State Farm agent served as our notary for this important occasion.

2. FedEx paperwork to the lawyer in Lesotho. Check! Trent said this was the very first time in our married life that I didn't try to negotiate for the better deal. 

     FedEx guy: "The fastest service will get it there Monday and will cost..." 

     Me: "DONE! Here's my debit card! I'll pay extra for special handling!"

3. The lawyer will take the paperwork to court, where the judge will finalize the adoption order. Once that is finalized, Pacman is OURS!

4. The agency representative in-country will apply for Pacman's new birth certificate with OUR LAST NAME and for his Lesotho passport. This paperwork is necessary for his immigration visa so he can immigrate to the United States with his FAMILY.

It's not entirely clear how long steps three and four will take. We're hoping and praying to pass court next week, but many government offices are closed due to the Easter holiday. Our hope is to travel the last week of April and have the family home in time for Sam's 8th grade crossover to high school. (HIGH SCHOOL! Seriously? I'm going to have a high schooler and a kindergartner? But that's another blog post...) 

Lesotho here we come!

No Child Left Behind

Report card time for elementary and middle school in the 'Ville. Lots of buzz and consternation. Fortunately, even though I work part-time as an elementary guidance counselor, I don't get a lot of parent phone calls about grades. Perhaps that's because, while empathetic, I am rather ambivalent about grades. (Unless my principal is reading this, in which case I am totally on board!) Grades are a helpful tool. If a child's grades drop dramatically from one year to the next or one quarter to the next, it's often a warning sign that something is going on emotionally or behaviorally. If a child's grades don't match his abilities - that's another clue something may be amiss. And if grades start to tick up after implementing interventions, that's often a sign that the interventions are making a positive impact. But grades aren't the be-all-end-all.  They often only measure one particular element of a child's learning. And I tend to relate best to those "outside the box" thinkers whose genius is measured in other ways.

So, in light of the controversy over No Child Left Behind, I came up with some new grade guidelines based on particular personalities and the potential future careers of those children. Let's use a test about the voyages of Christopher Columbus as example:

Potential medical personnel, engineers and accountants: In order to receive an A, this group must not only score 100% on all multiple choice and fill-in-the-blank questions, they must also recognize potential problems with the voyage and create a foolproof plan to resolve those problems. For example: Several of the sailors on the Columbus voyage presented with symptoms of malaise and lethargy, as well as spots on the skin and spongy gums. They should all take a multi-vitamin that is high in ascorbic acid. This group, however, should never, ever be graded on handwriting. They must be allowed to use a keyboard at all times. Or an administrative assistant.

Inventors, computer geniuses, astrophysicists: This group can get wrong answers over and over again, so long as they keep trying. They don't even need to remember where they put their pencil or their social studies book or their test paper. They earn an A for sheer inventiveness. I can't remember the names of the ships, but I've designed a new engine for those ships. It runs on hydro-electric power. See, as the ocean water moves through the engine, a specialized filtration system cleans the ocean of all toxic substances, making it safe for marine life.

News anchors, politicians, advertising executives: They don't need correct answers either, so long as they are charming and persuasive. They earn bonus points if their answers, while wrong, are convincing and inspire fear. Columbus? He invaded our country once, and he could do it again! If you vote for me (buy our products/stay tuned) I will work to personally ensure your safety!

Investigative journalists, lawyers, college professors: For this group, the answers in the social studies curriculum are nothing more than a starting point. The "Columbus set sail in 1492" answer alone is not complete. This group earns an A only if they unearth primary sources. If those sources conflict with conventional wisdom about Columbus, all the better, so long as they correctly cite their research. The great x20 grandson of a Taino islander on what is now Haiti claims that Columbus incorrectly blamed the Taino for the destruction of his fort. "It was a hurricane," says Pierre Guillame in an exclusive interview. Then Columbus demanded tribute, "Impossible tribute from which Haiti never recovered."

Athletes, construction workers, military personnel, entrepreneurs: Dates and dry facts are not required for these kids. No, to receive an A this group should reenact the journey - ships, crew, ocean crossing, native people groups, the whole deal. And teachers don't have to worry about funding - the enterpreneurs will take care of ensuring this is a money-making operation. Just be sure to get parental consent forms and liability waivers, for the subset of potential lawyers who don't want to deal with primary sources and are looking for a quick buck.

Teachers, counselors, pastors, youth workers: Correct answers are a plus for this group, but even more important is how they use their knowledge to help others. A handy way to remember the date is to use a little rhyme: "In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue." See how easy that is? Now, how would you feel if you were a sailor on one of Columbus's ship? How would you feel if you were an islander when you saw those ships for the first time? Would you be scared? Practicing positive thinking is a helpful way to cope with fear of the unknown.

Writers, artists, musicians, actors, dancers: Grades? Seriously? Can you give a grade to beauty? To adventure? To the power of the human imagination? Sunlight danced over the waves like diamonds, filling the heads of the sailors with visions of untold wealth hidden deep in the verdant jungle. The billowing sails blotted out the face of the sun. The sudden shadow mirrored in the hearts of the islanders. It's ART, people. Art inspires, illuminates, creates. It should never be subject to something as mundane as a grade.

Children who have been fostered and/or adopted: This group fits into the above personalities, of course, but they may also have their own past traumas that they bring to the school desk. Those traumas may impact their future potential if not allowed to heal in a safe environment. School may be a solace for these kids, a place of stability, but it may also be an added stressor. What's key for these kids is to learn to express and cope positively with their feelings. Columbus freaks me out, taking people from one country to another the way he did. I don't know why, but this makes me think of my first family. But I'm learning my second family will never leave me and will always love me. Grades aren't as much of a concern as is learning to live in a family, learning how and whom to trust, learning that they have inherent value, learning that they do, in fact, have a future. No child left behind.

Adulthood - how did this happen?

I don't have much anything to report on the adoption front. Still waiting on a signature. No, our file has not been lost (I asked). DSW just hasn't done anything with it. In light of not saying anything unkind about DSW and their ineptitude method of operation, I'll elect not to say anything and just ask ya'll to keep praying.

There. Wasn't that an adult response? I'm not sure why or how this adult thing happened. It's weird, really. Just yesterday I was doing the please-please-can-we-have-a-snow-day dance with my daughter (didn't work) and this morning I was scheduling an appointment with a lawyer to update our will. Yes, a real lawyer. For a real will. Apparently the $39.99 special with Legal Zoom is not acceptably adult. Who knew.

That got me thinking about all the other areas of my life in which I am expected to be an adult, but in which I fall short. Sigh. But then Jen Hatmaker blogged about her difficulties with certain "maturity required" issues. And I felt better about myself. See, all my small group friends especially Michael W., I am not the only one who doesn't answer the phone. And because Jen Hatmaker is a Christian writer and speaker and is all spiritual and stuff, I am claiming phone ineptitude as a mark of spiritual maturity.

So, in the hope event that someone else in cyber-land needs a boost of self-esteem, I, too, will share some ways in which I fall woefully short of the adult-behavior-required mark.

That not answering the phone thing? Full disclosure -  I often don't answer the phone because I can't FIND my phone. It's somewhere. I know it's somewhere because I used it just a minute ago to play family feud. (So fun!) But then I put it down because I didn't want to miss the South Beach Towing rerun when the overweight guy tries to climb in the passenger window and loses his pants. Hahahahaha!

This makes it very difficult on my child(ren) because while most children can rely on their mother to help them find (socks, shoes, homework, backpacks, softball gear, uniforms, purses, tickets, etc.) this just isn't an option in my house. I don't know where it is either. It's probably with my phone, playing family feud. "Experts" encourage parents to allow their children to gradually take more and more responsibility for their "stuff" as they grow older and more mature. I handed that responsibility over to Sam at around 18 months of age. Good luck, girlfriend!

I also can't seem to manage the very grown-up and parental task of creating a weekly dinner menu for my family. I know they must be fed. For the past 14 years Sam has required feeding three to six times a day, so it's not like this fact of life snuck up on me. I have the very best of intentions, I do. I want my family to eat delicious and wholesome made-from-scratch meals. I have read COUNTLESS books about the importance of delicious and wholesome made-from-scratch meals. But I dither and dither and suddenly it's six o'clock and everyone is starving and I forgot to go to the farm store plus I have NO IDEA what to cook and the only choices are scrambled eggs or Qdoba. Sorry Michael Pollan.

Which is weird because I really, really like to plan ahead. Except when I don't like to plan ahead. Like with dinner. (I think it's actually I-forgot-to-fix-dinner-so-let's-go-to-Qdoba intermittent reinforcement.) To avoid this last minute drama, I recently decided I was going to give every day a dinner theme. I read this somewhere. (Maybe on family feud.) This would help me. So, let's start with Sundays. Sundays are pizza night. Surely I can remember to make pizza every Sunday. It's not that hard. I am, remember, an adult.

BUT THEN my parents went on a raw food vegan diet, which has done amazing and almost miraculous things for their health. This got me thinking about how we should incorporate more raw and or/vegan food into our diet. So I spent the bulk of Sunday afternoon googling raw and/or vegan pizza to serve for Sunday pizza night. There are a surprising number of websites devoted to this very thing. One in particular grabbed my attention. I should have known I was in trouble when the first paragraph of the directions read: "The key to creating a successful vegan pizza is in the planning ahead" but I forged on. The recipe included a long list of ingredients, of which I had exactly one (tomatoes - but canned, not fresh).

By now it was six o'clock. And I had a vast knowledge of the benefits of vegan pizza and an understanding of how to construct a vegan pizza. But I still had only one ingredient. My family was not thrilled about eating canned tomatoes, and were not convinced that this plate of canned tomatoes was actually pizza. So I did what any self-respecting college student adult would do: call Pizza Hut. They had it ready in fifteen minutes.

But I also offered fruit snacks. And every pre-schooler adult knows that fruit snacks = one serving of fruit. So that should count for something. Right?